Trying To Get Along With My Daughter.

March 23, 2018

My one daughter is in that phase where she's just so hard to get along with...CaraMariah-Beyoncé-Lucifer.

She's just really like every bit of fourteen and it's awful. I find it hard to relate to because if I was that way I wasn't that way for long, because there was nobody to pay attention to it. Her sister was emo and dramatic and intense, but not a diva. Olivia was more like, “I don't even know why I should study because we’re all just meat people,” whereas CaraMariah-Beyoncé is like, “I don't know why should have to study, I have zero plans to stay in school past the law,” so it's a completely different kid.

So the other day I pick up CaraMariah-Beyoncé from dance and she gets in the car and she’s just exhausted...it just hasn't gone the way she wanted it to go, and she’s a real b****. So I decide okay because I asked her a couple questions, “What was the combo that you learned?” and “How did you do?” and “What was the most challenging part?” After I got these really nasty, snappy answers I said to myself, “Well fine then, I’m not talking to you! I’ve got the voices in my head for company, I don’t need this!” I drive you there six days a week, so excuse me for showing any interest whatsoever in your life.

We get home and she gets out of the car and she tries to slam the door, but it’s a Toyota Sienna so you have to push the door and it’s very unsatisfying...so she goes “Ugh!” and she pushes the button and it goes silently to a close. I go in and I’m cooking dinner and I pour myself a glass of wine and three hours go by; I’ve already sort of completely forgotten about it. I call everybody up to dinner and here comes CaraMariah-Beyoncé. She sits down and she’s like, “This looks really delicious, thank you mom.”

Long pause.

By the way, I had told Kevin and Olivia about her evilness...cause when she came stomping in they wanted to know what was wrong. I was like “You know, she thinks ‘Where’s Jay-Z?’ cause she thinks she’s Beyoncé. So a little silence and then she said, “Mom, I want to apologize for being so short with you in the car.” So I say “Apology accepted. Thank you.”

And Olivia said, “That sure doesn’t sound like apologies accepted based on what you told me earlier…” Why do people do that? This happens to us ALL. THE. TIME.

So CaraMariah looks at me and I started laughing and said, “Well I did share with the rest of the family that you were in a mood today.” She’s like, “Well...it’s just you don’t understand Olivia how hard my life is!” I just held my hands up and said “She apologized. I accepted it. New subject.”

This is why kids used to turn their parents in to Hitler, cause they’re all !@$*#&!!!!