The Truth Behind Lying

May 2, 2018

One of the biggest eye-opening facts about lying is that at some point you agreed to believe the lie. Lying is not a passive act.  Pamela Meyer gave an incredible TED talk on the subject in 2011. 

In an article by National Geographic writer Yudhijit Bhattacharjee says "Lying, it turns out, is something that most of us are very adept at. We lie with ease, in ways big and small, to strangers, co-workers, friends, and loved ones. Our capacity for dishonesty is as fundamental to us as our need to trust others, which ironically makes us terrible at detecting lies. Being deceitful is woven into our very fabric, so much so that it would be truthful to say that to lie is human."

The fact is MOST people lie. 60% Of people can't go 10 minutes without telling a lie however big or small. Most people lie in order to protect someone else from hurt but in the long run, are you really helping that friend or loved one? 

Everyone lies but that doesn't make it feel any better to be lied to. Especially if you trust that person very much. Here are three ways to break the news when you've lied and tell the truth to your loved one. 

1. Give the person a heads up. 

Nobody likes a heavy conversation so its good to let them know you've got bad news and you need to talk to them. You might think doing this could give someone unnecessary anxiety. However its extremely important that the person is in a mental space to hear bad news and have an open discussion about what your relationship will be going forward. 

2. Avoid Sugarcoating What You Did. 

One of the biggest things to do in this situation is to just own up to your mistake but not minimalize what you've done especially if the lie was big enough to hurt someone's feelings. Explain why you lied but understand that doesn't make it ok. The person deserves their time to feel upset over it. 

3. Give The Other Person Time.

Once you've told the truth don't expect the person being lied to, to simply accept you as they did before but also don't expect them to treat you badly. Remember to listen and keep an open mind to what they're saying and how they feel. Anything can happen and people will often surprise you. 

Here are a few other ideas from Huffington Post.