From Empty Nest to Full House for the Holidays

November 8, 2019
Pic of Holly Haze's three kids.

Photo by Holly Haze/WLNK-FM

When I thought about starting a family, I thought about having two kids very close in age. That’s how my plan started out. 

I had my first child in 1997. When Brandon was nine months old, I figured we should start trying for number two because I wanted them close in age. I did not realize it would happen on the first try! So 17 months later, Harrison arrived. We were done. The doctor did not want to do anything permanent on either of us because we were both under 30 years old. He said we had a lot of time to make that final decision.

19 months later, Jordan Caroline was born. I will not get into the details about birth control gone wrong, but let’s just say, no birth control is 100% effective and she was determined to be here!

Much of that time for me is a blur as any new mom can tell you. Especially when you have three in diapers. The things you don’t think of when you are planning children close in age; the cost of preschool, the cost of doctor's appointments, the cost of orthodontics, the cost of college tuition...and the list in between those are endless.

With all that being said, I love my children more than anything. Jordan started college in August. When they are entering their teenage years, you are counting down the days until they graduate and are out the door. When I dropped my oldest off at college, I cried for days. The house just did not seem the same anymore. Harrison did not come downstairs for days. He missed his big brother.

I had to do it all over again one year later when we dropped Harrison off at school. Jordan became my buddy. She is very independent but she takes time to do things with me, even if it’s just sitting on the couch and watching TV. She introduced me to Glee and watched it with me every night. When I was recovering from my bilateral knee replacement, she was my lifeline. She took care of all of my needs and housework and went grocery shopping. Maybe that is why dropping her off at college has been a very sad time for me. 

Aside from being a radio DJ, all I have done for the past 22 years is be a mother. That was my most important job. I wasn’t fired, but it appears my job has been eliminated. It’s a loss I didn’t know existed. I was not prepared. No one warned me.

I'm proud of them. Their father and I prepared them for the world, now it’s theirs for the taking. I’m learning more and more as time goes on that this parenting thing is not for the faint-hearted!!

So here I am warning you!! If you are about to be empty nesting, get ready. You are now out of a job :) I am counting on the fact that they will always need their mom, just not nearly as much. Right?

The irony is not lost on me. I couldn’t wait for them to be out of the house, for some ME time; peace and quiet. Now I miss them so much it hurts.
The thing that makes me smile the most is how close they are. They truly like each other and love being together.

I cannot wait to have my babies home for the holidays.