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Is this the Key to a Happy Marriage?

This answer will surprise you!

October 9, 2017

Marriage isn't a walk in the park for everyone. It requires a lot of work and attention for it to be successful. Some days will be hard and you won't like your spouse. It's not all rainbows and butterflies. 

I found an interesting article in The New York Times about the key to having a happy marriage is actually never getting married. Say what?

Look at Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn! They've been together forever, but they aren't legally married. The author of the article, Gabrielle Zevin, is in a similar situation. She met the man she's with when she was 18 and they have been together for 22-years. But why does marriage make things so complicated? If you've been together for 22 years, most would consider you pretty much a married couple anyway although not legally. 

She explains it like this. “When the law doesn’t bind you as a couple, you have to choose each other every day. And maybe the act of choosing changes a relationship for the better. I wake up in the morning and I look at Hans and think, I love you. I choose you above any other person. I chose you 21 years ago and I choose you today.”

If you've been married and it wasn't working out, you know what a pain in the ass it is to get divorced. Could people who are legally married just be choosing to stay with the person because they are legally bound and the process of splitting is a complicated one? If you've followed my blogs and read between the lines over the last 10 or so months, you know I am having issues in my marriage. We even separated for quite a few months. 

Could I have been staying in my rocky marriage because it was just easier to try and work it out and hope for the best? And the dating scene was full of lying, fake people? 

Is your marriage truly a happy one? Maybe you should start with this simple question. If you weren't legally bound by marriage, would you choose that person today, tomorrow, next year, etc? It's some food for thought.