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Wedding Etiquette 101: Never Upstage the Bride

June 9, 2017

A woman dreams of her wedding day all of her life. She's thought about the dress, the flowers, the ring, and the man who would sweep her off her feet and meet her at the church since she was a little girl. 

When it comes to the wedding, it's the Bride's day to shine and be front and center. There are some things wedding guests, and wedding party members should never, ever, EVER do at a wedding. You'd think people would understand most of the cardinal rules of wedding etiquette 101, but sadly they don't.

Here are a few no-brainers just in case you need a little refresher:

1. Always send in the RSVP whether you plan to attend or not. 

2. If you RSVP'd to go solo, do not show up with a date unless you've already made arrangements with the couple to accommodate the extra person.

3. Women should never wear white to a wedding. The bride is in white, and she needs to stand out. 

4. If the couple doesn't want guests to share photos on social media from the ceremony or reception, please respect their request.

5. If the couple has a wedding hashtag and they want their event all over social media, make sure you use that hashtag! (This is obviously a pretty new one on the list)

But most importantly, You should never, EVER upstage the bride and groom on their special day. 

I had heard horror stories before where someone got so drunk and made a scene that that's what most people remembered from the wedding. Ouch. If you just got engaged yourself, another person's wedding most certainly isn't the time or place to make the announcement. The same goes for baby news or a divorce announcement. 

This story that has gone viral just blows my mind. The actions of the best man who also played the role of the officiant at this couple's wedding are something that would end a friendship forever in my opinion. 

The angry bride wrote a letter into Dear Prudence for advice on how to handle the situation. Here's a piece of what she wrote. 

"My husband’s best friend, “John,” was the best man/officiant. The setting was beautiful, everyone seemed happy, our families were overjoyed. My mom may have used the phrase hallelujah a few dozen times. The entire atmosphere felt moving. So moving in fact that John stopped "midceremony to propose to his longtime girlfriend, “Jane,” and reveal her pregnancy. I couldn’t even hear the vows my husband wrote or the rest of the ceremony over the noise of Jane’s happy sobs, her very surprised family who were also guests, and people seated nearby congratulating her.

I think I would have choked "John" personally before he was able to get the proposal out!!!! The woman goes on to explain how the newly engaged couples became the focus at the reception too. What a crappy friend. 

How would you handle the situation:

1. Let it go and get over it.

2. Have a conversation with the best man about why you were upset.

3. Tell the best man what he did was wrong and end the friendship.

4. Never speak to him again.

Ha, I think you know what my answer is. I am #4 all the way.