Matt Harris: Unofficial Spokesman For United Sexless America

March 7, 2017

For several years Matt Harris has been complaining about being tired...his wife never has to worry about him cheating. He claims that he is way too worn out to try to satisfy a second woman. Sure, the guy works two jobs, radio here on 107.9 The Link and WCCB News Edge, but can fatigue really be the reason why a man keeps his junk to himself?

The Archives of Sexual Behavior is out with a study that's found Matt might not just be a lazy lover; he might just be the unofficial spokesman for an unsexy movement.

Back in the 90's, Matt says he was having more sex. In fact, the late 90s comes close to being the decade of his sexual peak. It turns out lots of grownups in the country were getting it on more back then. In 2002, the average American was doing “it” 64 times a year.

What happened two years later? All we know is that the nookie number dropped to 53 times a year. The stats looked even worse for college grads, Southerners and married or divorced people.  

We can blame lower marriage rates for some of the U.S. sexlessness. Solo acts of pleasure didn’t count for this study, and it’s tough to get more action if you don’t have easy access to a bedroom partner. But what about the people with significant others? Why is their nookie frequency suffering too? Streaming videos and arguing politics on social media aren’t helping. Since Netflix doesn’t watch itself and Facebook and Twitter don’t update themselves we’ve found other ways to be entertained in the bedroom. Add kids and the jobs that help us keep up with the Jones’ to the mix and you wind up with "Matt Harris Syndrome." Americans are simply too pooped for the pushin'.