Why We Put Up With Jerks

Monday, April 23rd

Why do we allow people to get away with being rude? There's a scientific reason that explains our tendency to rationalize other people's crappy behavior...


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Today to what that meant remotest showcased via FaceBook and Twitter and find out more help when most of the night the link dot com your listing all of there was. There are reasons that we've put the Dirksen and I'm content and. And yeah. It's an effort. Our whole. You relatives or something like that that you have to force seats. But here's reasons why people put up with jerks and we've said it stated before. One following the this is the book is called. In the eighties it everywhere but bubble survival guide. Is is it's this. I'm on the cover. Now. One of the reasons we've ever Turks denial about the presidency like nationally that at that but it is actually terrible. Looted a fool's paradise now in the leadership. But again this is a bit you. Arbiter could just like I guess that's a back gals that's a map that they don't that's bad whatever amount. Eight you've got the Ramona thing which the false hope. You're optimist. League that they have the the brighter tomorrow we keep wishing for and hoping for its hasn't happened and there's actually no reason to believe it will. You know what. Baby used to be in this vote to tell. He popped out of the call them cap in favor ho for awhile there yeah you see the potential is someone you know. And you wanna believe and that they could be better we just a little support and trying may be a lot of support yet. And they do chill you over and over again that you are why do you do yourself. I don't I've added that's deleted feeble and when people have definitely given sports on their own man another's business and let me down. That's how I why am I. I've been right about most people I told you to give up on. Yeah. Well okay. The reason you put up which irks your life may be the savior complex. I only I can make things better or no one can replace me and that's who are things about actually. Maybe day. That not only are used suffering but you are powerless to fix things can't do it may Yankee game maybe to someone else maybe you're fueling the age old problem. Some have told me that. As actually enabling or someone that their opinion polls someone might be better able to handle the jailed and you. You get stomped on. One of the reasons people put up which are X they've got to keep comes up I'm not a whip. But I'm tough not affecting me. Then of people around you are like yeah I'd is that yeah you're here you've become one. Dragging you down. That is what I have seen we all had a self righteous suffer. George bad for me but it's so much worse for others I'm no right to complain. And the only viewers at anything we do worse or better so martyrdom as a lousy excuse to be at a crappy situation. Tennessee meanwhile was me I'll stay there inside I'll stay in this situation whether relationship or whatever have this friend because you like to complain about it you like to say. A low in low. Poor me act to hang out that our little topic feel like an intervention basilica. Perhaps. Can act many people are saying that about auto right now. You only. Maybe maybe people are saying I'm the one. On the chart maybe in this scenario I don't know how that would not saying I'm sticking with jerks all of about to say who is say and I am not stand with irks matches. Others. Secure much just took that's a makes you injure a cents a some deals they would durst as they think the grass and leave me Browner at the opposite date back here but somewhere else to be worse. No place is perfect people. Check your options. It's it's lame excuse that could regular can be wearers. That's sort of thing so obviously we're getting as it and always to be where are somewhere always to be better somewhere it's you know it is. There's always somebody better at him but on. Or somebody battery used in something in. There's very few people that. Our light. The top 1% of whatever the older specialty it is so. You know dumbed did get over yourself and a good idea of bag Saturday that yeah. Indy now that's I don't believe me I don't say honey I don't say that but I believe in myself and at the I'd night I don't says I do believe them but I say sometimes at you know some people are. More. Does it matter. If you're just an hour on it didn't. Argue yet I mean all say something I actually assays and whoever that person probably really really practiced. That person. Is just is just better be yeah turn harder than you yet another bad yeah. Now that's unjust and now that is unfair even. If they're but I don't think it was fair and life's not fair. Hat at him. They're failing the rest of us. We know we're very average via junior and a long line average terrorism instead and about the lives than you think you are. Not hide your listeners or whoever I I am kidding I don't do that but. But it is in general. True it is to meet somebody better and something I'll often somebody to be that ST. Let's try hi Bolivia you the you could try trying to legislate you don't. Which yourself beat yourself up when you're not the best what I love the same because. Yeah really sometime this punishment a lifetime punishment you know lord I mean I've read something like it's I'm like dad there's only like. American number but it's pretty close let's survive the why did the right number. But there's only like five people who have written. That played classical music that class the music. Like I. Use like there's five guys. You know sort of like a hundred guys wrote great. Last the music only fondling like five I'm gags five guys I'm like yeah it's pretty close. Critical of Israel and written Greg classical music I think it's like Beethoven. I've got about desired. And rat out closers ever hear them like that put put Winston LaMont in the and now I know I look there's not that I'm willing does that give back. I am. But there's only a few people like at everything and thought oh right Lincecum guy this. As a unit of true I hate just understand I don't be sad when you're not been so long. I look at me and my whole life I'm the best for the the film I liked and I don't somebody somewhere on mindful that Mars. Listen in for Carol Wednesdays every Wednesday no linkage celebrating your own David tanning and makes it. You have pulling your favorite ride in mid June tickets to Caroline staring into a special events throughout the year might well. Costar can't about April 2728. Wake up to a roller coasters exclusive ride times in two days of adventure headache Caroline dot com to get out of. We're looking at this. This company it's a start up started last year and other crank it up it's called cameo. Like issue cared book cameo dot com. Personalized messages from celebrities to surprise your friends we've not been we have. Long time ago when there's answering machines. And use it wasn't a purse like we do to get people to. Famous people to be on your answer machine hi this is. Moses Malone and Matt I'm hearing now. This little. Let's let the bargain basement but that Moses was you're right NBA player let me back should pick somebody mark famous I was Andy Griffith now way to integrate with. As Bruce Springsteen and you've got the answer receipt of Brent Ireland you know I'm like god remember those days you know you don't. You can do it yet but they did it. I never did it I don't think there's that your name I think it was very generic like this is. I don't this this is. Pink Floyd's the terms this is this is they're this is Tom Cruise. Please leave a mess. I know I give me an example of the bed it was okay as is more like Moses there was it was not. And it wasn't purse size these are personalized. Videos. And you can you get Quinn is. The talents. Are making much money gets 75% of it. So you can get rolling and if 14100 people right now. They set their own price and get 75% of the cut. And leave anybody you'd like to get a message for Gary Lyon Iowa about a give you for your. Day every lie and lie Perry lion dike personalized birthday media. Round the bachelor REI and that and Lauren burn a machine the bachelorette. You know Laker you don't like him either. But you look at cameo from your favorite bachelor stars for a little romance. Or lack thereof in your life. And they're noting meters sooner because. Tori Spelling is on hand is agreeable price Tori Spelling. The bow and say. The money that Tori Spelling came from. During government money at a date yes right you can look curve for sixty dollars prize bed. Yes and how did you just grooving your mom that bad the laws that I would have. Or pretend that I like Terry you know wash their feet whatever not about the money Pretoria issued a ban although Alec and it has. Three of these personalized video shout outs. A lot of them are. YouTube stars I guess. On the weekend showing you can request to join. This there's said I'd try AP we pay you the only way you. Adore erred Dell line out you know heard TV star group calls drag race. Most that are amazing to rained down. Cody code. We did whatever. You'd you'd TERRELL OWENS is on there Terrell Owen at Ellis Rodman yeah no deals are probably the low will go into my fell for fear that whatever bill is rob as. Is contagious via phone Dennis Rodman started at 200 but I got 2000. And I think you're interacting and we understand and use get away a video that say I'm prepared to Iran are not right and I think that's all it is not talking on the I don't think. That's 14100 Pena spaces there. You users had a cameo wears a Jesus liberty play in the recipient's name or email that has bubble bath and sends them to for everything and they will do. They can't order to refuse on the it is inappropriate or damaging to the star's image of Lee and so. This is something we get out. I think listing on this website is damaging to here and love celebrities and what does damaging to Dennis Rodman and it's. Possibly be so rob what let us and give anything. But himself has already done what have you let's say he even gets. You know why one month. Right at 121000 dollars a year per I think whatever 120 seconds of work. I'm at minus a cut of some sort when you do it your likeness and the some of these people are YouTube stars. We don't even know about because it's not necessarily in our demo but these some of these people are followed by a lot of youth like a young kids and the price would go nuts to hear from unity that my kid watches as people blame mine craft whenever David as. And she knows there names some may be she heard from them and maybe. I'd you know maybe that would do something ten box. Rather I will do it. Delivered and Bucs. And and keeping it well. An. What I have to do weren't part of the ocean is let me ask you to do MBA and on yeah right god island day is easy doubt. Geez reason birthday Willie. Shouldn't do the video like that. Maybe instead Graham comedian or out YouTube comedian what are they and how listing is their right profession even a little. Ago we had a boss who every day gave us a list of like. Fifteen people and we were supposed to call the Malta with them happy birthday do you know and as the biggest complainer and India guess I'd give you one guess. That's different men here they would have said he's mr. birthday shout out I say I'm getting paid for it you pay until. Always get a salary and is on top of that. And then answer a hum. I these people would be coming to meet passport the weird thing there was calling and went of people like what did you don't care. This one they'd tell somebody out and come to me which means they really wanted orders or. There are castigating give it to a friend you'll mock him sitting in the Matt Harris happy birthday. Yeah yeah. The guy that is radioed do bands yeah yeah I'm not amount outs memory bank. I want to help this team box on the fifteenth again thank you and and he got bigger names like it's the hour. To see how this works with Iran has some that. Maybe there that maybe this'll make these this person millions and that we we we had arch and put up millions okay I'll tell you to do that. You know get sign up Amy Charlotte teams to which people happy birthday. Attack at a I Disney's former mayor Jim her. Dancing and looked terrible Irish jig and and some awful batting for your birthday and domestic. It's also there was that Ramon not banks are sharing impact does losing to analogous about. All right Tom. Liked to give most likely to cheat according to science. According to raise surge thing at all once reports together found out that married men generates anywhere 125 to 72%. Or I don't know the basically. Why 5%. Didn't wait I present my match I figured that it's just. At the too big of why why even mention it it's that wide and I think it it we either. Does it elect to the drawing boards and start over again I ever. Yeah I guess when you're serving people guys would be huge apology digit seed or not they might not always answered yeah and we but I believe a lot of surveys about cheating. Yet RG right. That. You might well. Unto its fund believe there'll cheaters but Ali surveys are done by cheating web sites. Yet in Myanmar at best buy it but somehow makes sense in this case heavy show social media users. A couple differ later studies. More often Twitter or FaceBook more often use that the more often you have relationship conflicts. It's a comedy and seeing break gobs divorce. And in matter of the cup was to get over a short time we're a long time. I concede causing problems in relationships I've seen it now. Now when I look at me and I'll buy that as a possibility likely to meet new people and the doors of releasing you know in no way. Your mate because you're on their all the time and they might be like starting a conflict as economic and into what the under the giant documentary like the rest of America did Britain and the guy they look and I'll place Marlins assistant. Man whose age ends in nine a this is data from Ashley Madison the website where married people go to cheat. They said the highest percentage of men of the site were 29394959. Because like home I'd be thirty are about to be party go out to me of the eyes and let it. Oh yeah hello hello I knocked one out of Florida the big or go whatever we. Last chance. I'm like that you know I in May be it's kind of like app. I would guess it's kind of like a midlife crisis type thing again now I assume that's that is the same thing about it and and I think regular tour and I'm I'm not in the nines right now. Not in my age is not in the nine. I don't use says social media daddy. It's good for you should have and he's out trying to land those things. Men summer was already seeded that goes up at tech. If you acceded. And now I'm amazed even about wanted to currency is among the top three things are opt riskier mates. Having a pardon who suddenly more physically affectionate could mean that you're ceased eating. When a man starts he becomes hyper active sexually Wu because sex drives gonna Ralf went to have more you want more. And I mean there's there's been around that attack. I don't even like today you are reading that. Just out you are so hyperactive. But not sexual identity the thought of you being counted. That everybody. Let me. Yeah I mean I mean if these two something it was any suspicion that you're. Sexually hyperactive yeah I would reach out to Amy and the kids MI can come live with me about though. Until they could find a place to their own that I can imagine is like some. Idol hype grow. I might be are already know Bo monkey just go out and round in those. Aren't pumping yeah. Get his hands on I do Wear on things in the studio on it yeah so imagine you. I'm Jean Pierre pumping his natural. I don't see other people do it they say that win again and don't don't they go with the angry and only the only. People I ever see your home being. Our R&B dancers on Wednesday leveraging I missed my calling. Whenever I had I get angry like to get rid mr. Because it meant an army they've got a bit Chris brown and then again the Benton is like an angry Estrada maybe Bobby and it doesn't sized I. Kind of start to it grew to elect a little mini around and talking about it is it's close when you're angry which yes disturbing. Self administered with less we we we're trying to do you submit an. And gaga and I kept messing up. And he made an over. And both keep an air hump the door out Amazon but it. Electric socket yeah I heard and I needed some luck on. Rick expecting some action not. To how it. Attack. Even like does some work or and I think it's been an look he multimillion. Getting adored and hump day no flannel and or other damage Silicon Valley up the dark. I bet in 90% releases right now dancing co workers on things now now we'll probably. Former coworkers perhaps yes hyper. So anyway they say what you start getting some you want more which puts guys in a re real place because. All of a sudden you decider all right I've been kind of slack in I'm gonna pick it up now on. I'm and start wanting it a lot more being affectionate and an airline well iron on the radio that. You do and that he added yeah well well well in his cyber sex on the so yeah. That's Jada are you third in the 139 hyper sexual person. So it tries to. Get out of Iraq like let's say the couples and inspects all right. And one person says I take it upon myself to initiate or to. Wear sexy underwear to aid to be more affectionate whatever it it's they don't go for meg 0200. Ads. And you are and really getting going out all again. Now I don't blow it. The it and you know you dive into the Yucatan ball up. Is don't walk down there and you know don't sit on the side of the pool will be begin a doesn't everybody just like it's on the that's a lot to be able to get nets spurs out of nowhere they jumping on and McCain Amal and you know it happens he's into local pool who's not strictly. The handle and and ones that don't. And I had mentioned that. Every time I'd read one of these for years doing these kind of things science a team one of them would be while one would be like. Wearing new fashion her a new clothes and wanted to go to the jam or one would be. Wearing Cologne. And I was I was afraid to start I never worked Cologne since. Like that Jordan and early nineties and some old spice gave me an all the time and usually just in my job. So. And in when he did little until I Clark and the best stuff. Everything goes through that there every guy gets through that space. Yeah never didn't get to know if that year never spread colonial my junk now. No I don't believe it oh yeah I got my dad learned. Had to admit it doesn't sound like a rite of passage that says I I've only heard one other person talk about it and I think it was Eddie Murphy in a comedy routine out. Now people back in eighty. Thank you ice brand walk through it is pregnant flap around. A unique evening and yeah. This isn't so. Yeah I hit it big talent and he went from sticky job that diversity to the yeah yeah I didn't I think out yes I did not age yeah. It says that he's China middle school. He's going near and middle school and I wasted Nolan go Amir in college. Mac. It was different for you remember yeah I don't want my little secret that wasn't my ticket and I hit it. There assembled there any haven't about his and ask us so. I've been little I would assume that you would know better in college. I know better about that haven't gotten better on the guys I'm. It's an eight cents a barrel below and you can't smell of nice. Friday was flour to jump up and vote don't count me that's it. But anyway you can't really improve yourself as a guy you are you'll be looked at as a possible Jeter in the through why he dressed so nicely all is not easy to clean up this great job what's. Yeah. You're teaching Spanish in. First of all people gimmicks funny and they all do guys do. I am told bandied that my daughter was responsible for Michael owns a lot of stuff. Like I say he did. I was preemptive. You know he did mark because it was preemptively couldn't mock me like he normally would have. I did preemptive again it was a tip of the got out of mocked him that we found out yet. Hiding it preemptive strike of item but it gave it to me now it is neck in neck campaign on more involved in quite a new attacks against my Graham Bob I'd give it ultimately. You're gonna say yeah champion. I'm on the money hands it's a guess that leprosy. In Vietnam's under the that it can knock urged me to really did the last time illegal sale of. Guys are gonna dim as resign or whatever not possibly designer at a as a as he because exceeding. Moves so. Does it stop for a guy. The other guys make funny for something new and the. Made think you're too well. Another personality. If Amy became. Hyper. Sexually active I cannot. They're translucent sons that he'd mellowed OK would you immediately suspected she was cheating now now I wouldn't X and O. It's different women try to improve themselves when guys would not. OK yeah my yeah. That. Wealthier man in poor women. As you know like. Men wealthier more fluent in the language of illicit affairs that says. Poor women are more likely to cheat than wealthier ones have been more wealthy the main and very likely is that he. The less wealthy the woman is more likely she is that he did so it it's it's some sort of biological. Lower income trying to climb the ladder and climb the latter guy has powerful and blah blah blah so. I'm not wealthier or. Not for her so I got that went off I think if there you go odd seats and according to beta is not genes needed it it it is read our jobs and dongle and downhill. Improving not improving a lot and home improvement. It's more glass and more fun it's yeah that's Ramallah all right you know I like to reject things out of school assistant and Heatley renegade. But I even rivalry sometimes. About that. Small do you read something that you've never tried I do well I don't act it did I just know things varied like I'm soothsayer of sorts. Many system ordering. But he says things you added to try immediately there meaningful. Either there's no way. I offline activity like doing it jigsaw puzzle. Canada and I'll do like with AB to seven he'll do one of those but I might have been doing let go out there that does like to thank god but. Went when I had to try it I'm just awful like tinker toys and beat him back awful it Lego awful later. Awful. I mean I just I get it done but I'm. How can this I have to understand how one is awfully low ago I just really great at building things and focus focus on our you know. Few minutes aren't good because you're trying to build whatever is on the package. Yeah it takes a while and I don't mess they have the focus to do it and or nor the interest you can do jigsaw puzzles. Know that that's an out. Now when I was a kid we did jigsaw puzzle you got the card table exalt god I loved it. Now I used to get a puzzle in my Easter basket every year I mean with the young one that erodes our cable one of those would like 2000 pieces. I've thought about getting one of those Amy mentions that once in awhile. And I am I really can't I have that the big you know. They're like puzzle pads yes. Right where you can roll it up yes yes I heard about that and put it like get a carrier carrier I am right and do it I'd I'd. He married. Is wasted on you Seth that's that's. B now Amy don't doubt that she I she said she did but that's more spot about it again. We do we do that everyone's laughing we wanna do something. Tomorrow we think about it we're likened it really. You don't have that much time. Together it would evidence that they never get started on it yet and put it away and it would never see the light of day again as my dreams model years from now it might have been a yard sale right. There's no way am convinced indicates. Probably too young but. Yet but I did hear about the people carry them around. Like it and like we sickle rollers on gas. As you know we did a try out the ritual. Morning pages they call it killing three sides of paper with words you have consciousness style bursting in a more. My human consciousness and. Are you really are pretty insane fill up. Every records ended my make up some things that are amazing isn't it though you had to give me that nine years and never. Picked up a new skill brush up and Arnold won. I always salmon at the company's you know I mean I'm sure you do do that we follow throat. Fire free years and I do mean years. I drove around with a CD set. That was supposed to teach me Spanish I had underneath the seat of my car is that a stone thing yeah never even got him now I never put out big. That's not wind CD ever made it into the CD you've got to in the car and getting into the and I and it lived under the seat that as a general I've bought a new car. And I bought a new car I donated you that is quitting at its finest a yeah they're lazy but I really didn't. And but he used that you're at a bell bid to those he had to listen to what did radio though. The love of radio lives radio just noticed too much too much. Make a schedule for how you'll ideally spend the next day. I mean I don't rated amateur and now. Try living by the one minute role but that is now they tag if there's a task you need to do it takes only one minute duel right away. Don't put her off. It in a pops in my attic to take a minute do it now now that's. Saw awful advice for someone like me because I. That's generally what makes me late is doing that one last thing now it's only get a take a minute well you know how little well I can hang this up. I can put this in the wash your candidate out I could do this again today. No that is bad advice for somebody like me can I can one more thing myself to death yes but you. Obviously you have to. It doesn't mean you aren't late like you have to go to work if your work he can't say oh boy it's an imminent iron my shirt drive home. And you but I do the same thing when it's time to leave work I wanna leave us like oh. This is only gonna take a minute from me did you did not good this really just don't amid sat up were asked how about advice ever how about a nice add to it. You only do 11 minute thing I can't do 11 minute. This has spread throughout the day but it throughout the day. I'm overwhelmed now won only one minute in time. Wake up thirty minutes earlier than normal screw that. We all do we need I mean. That's only hear about as LB people on sleeping right it adds yeah you read everywhere now that would get thirty minutes earlier. That's also I've done I've started doing and I as to waking up earlier. Up about what to wake up earlier no longer getting up early is now at your normal. Okay yeah because then your normal night got to back it have another half hour his demon in yet spend some time reading your short book if everybody you read books every. Couple weeks that short. Bloc have one hour today. To do something without any distractions get stuff done at work work. Now and that midnight to get here's hourly. An out. I can't do it home is very difficult to do at home because there are a lot of distractions there I come to work. There's no place second night here now that we work in a giant and very distracted by other human being. And we were gonna giant office with a lot of other people I can't I can't now. Does get a lot of people office now and then. When I come to the studio a lot of times not a serious still working its liking it and year. And if I'm just sitting here about myself is definitely invitation to come talk to me don't know about the only known when enemies and the dog got socked me arousal spin my chair around ligament here. And and like she did the other day either Kabila plots. I thought Osama was there I don't know they once so I got here. And this. Really wish I could be you it sometimes has that been data sometimes it sucks. And finally there's hell no what I do this have a lunch with a different person every day. We went like just everything. Yeah it also don't want to be there wasn't much but once a month maybe beyond if you land them on minutes. Our lunch with a different responses on every our schedules are such standing next week. Our schedules are such that I have plunged when given a lot of work earlier. As oppose it get a regular night at five and yeah office hours days. They're leaving their house and 1230 when they get here now goes out like 1130 to go on. As early as the. Thanks for listening to our fair would that remote check out the articles. Videos and news you heard today it 1079 no link dot com.